Three things every woman is sure to be interested in. Only the addition of "I play Dungeons & Dragons" could have made him more irresistable.

Favorite book is by a rabid feminist, and just check out that viscious stare and multiple piercings. My balls are already shrinking.

Favorite reading material = music. Yeah, she didn't look like an intellectual, which may explain why she colored herself green in the photo. Her ideal mate, The Incredible Hulk, doesn't read too well either.

She's your fifth book of the Old Testament laughing? Genius probably meant "ego". Also note, whenever the photo is wildly over-exposed, the subject has bad acne or a skin condition.

Here's a hint, istickmyneckout - when out hunting for the ideal woman, most men aren't judging in comparison to Marlon Brando. Try Jessica Simpson: Dumb as a post; large breasts. Mission accomplished.

Overexposed photo? Yes.

Uh... yeah. That's real deep and stuff. Fish tainted by Communism. You're so sensitive. Or maybe it's just the Chernobyl radiation.

I kind of wish she was back in a dark room in Jamaica myself, because an inhuman amount of prime marijuana would be needed to bed this Yeti.

"Then I will lock you in my basement and torture you to death, upon whence I will fashion a raincoat out of your dessicated remains. Please write back soon."

(side note: rereformed = went to prison, twice?)